Christmas mood is not there.

Christmas is coming, but this year, it is not for me to enjoy and celebrate. So many plans are put off due to moving, heavy work loads. I am so tired. Even the thought of baking a Christmas fruit cake, is not workable.

Tensions in the office are there still and mood is never a happy day at all. I am simply moodless about everything, throwing my temper at the boys at time when I reach home from work at times.

My screaming and shouting at them made me guilty when I see them sleeping.

My boys, mummy is sorry and never meant anything to scold you or beat you. My Noel, mummy love you and Zachary. Mummy dont want to scold you all but hope you 2 will be good when I am home.

Senseless people at work

I am disappointed in work life. People making senseless attacks and stirring unnecessary quarrels.

You must be guessing..... yes !! You are right. I got very personal attacks from the gang of 4 women again. This time still manageable but an extra person joined in the group.

She makes senseless attacks on me and best of all, she lied. She uses what I have written in my facebook and claim that she is the person I am refering to and complained to HR. Wonderful imagination she has. Call herself a devoted christian, I will spit on her face as she disgrace her religion.

Christians dont behave this way. She can lie her way out, all I can say people like her can stoop so low to take someone's good name.

End of the day, she is no saint herself. I do not say much. I sit tight upright and I have not done anything wrong I will still remain seated where I am. She is obviously showing her panic by going up to HR 1st.

Friends around the globe is showing supprt to me. I know all of my friends are shaking head to hear what happen. I have my freedom of speech and I speak my mind. I dont speak just to get into good books. This is me and I do what I feel is right.

Seriously I am here to work and not to bother about what people wear, making personal attacks.

I personally feel that senseless people like that old woman and the gang of 4 women, are a wastage to company resources. They are paid, but not doing what they supposed to do.

An insult to me made by them may be hurting, but it also makes me stronger.

I sincerely thank all my friends who share with me all my unhappiness and support me emotionally through the tough journey, without them, I would be a emotional wreck.

Grace a colleage of mine is my best mate I can cry to. She is helpful and lends me her shoulder to cry when I really break down. I sincerely thank her and her kind words.

The 2 monsters

Well, life is great comfort for me after work seeing my 2 monsters!! Yeah! 2 notty boys. They add so much fun and anxiety in my life. Seeing them growing up by the day ease my stress and worries away.

Jeff is sweet. He listens to all my nagging and complaints constantly. Comfort me and yes, making me laugh. I can see that he has been trying hard to please me at time. What can I do without him?

Coming weeks are getting busy as we are moving out. Weekends are burnt to packing up stuffs and working late in the office.

Thankfully our helper is a great help. She started the packing whenever Zachary is sleeping.

Tday I took some picts of the notty boys. Just to share.

Work Work Work!!!

Well, reasons for not writing in for long time is due to heavy work load. Late night back home and by the time I done with my warm shower, I am knocked out.

Thankfully, I have search for a nice place and will be shifting out soon. Weekends are burnt staying at home packing up the boxes.

Will update more on the boys.

The kids

Time flies, Zachary is 16 months old and is getting smarter by the day. I have to outwit him or else, I will be lost in his games. Noel is having his exams stress. I can say, Noel makes me proud, he works hard and has been studying in his room. I feels for him, and hopes that once exams are over I will bring him and Zachary out for a short trip. A well deserve trip for the kids and me and Jeff.

A day with them makes me a blessed lady, a life time with them makes me a well love lady from God. He indeed has bless me well.

Picts of Vietnam

Good Morning Vietnam!!! Just arrive at the airport.


Busy streets of Vietnam. Motorcycles everywhere.


Glorious Vietnamese food


Church of Notre Dame.


Their General Post Office. Inside with authentic phone booth.


My cosy bedroom.


Street Hawker selling carrot cake


Bottles of snake and scopion wines



Glorious food

Back from Vietnam

It has been 5 days since I am back from Vietnam. Jeff is not around and I have spent nice time with the 2 boys. Noel happens to fall sick on Tuesday. He always does when Jeff is not around. Sigh!!!

Vietnam trip is tiring and rush. During the trip, it shows me the ugly side of people. Selfishness and conceited. I can tell who are the ugly selfish ones, the good and kind ones and the nosy ones.

I know and get along well with those who are the truthful and kind. We had great time and accomodate each other well. Picts can tell.



My 3 good colleages who accompany me and has made good companions throughout




I think hanging out with them make me more comfortable and feel free myself.

1 day to Vietnam.

Have not been writing much as work load is high. Unhappiness in the office has been causing me alot of stress. You may be thinking , let loose and enjoy yourself for 3 day. Vietnam is fun. Eat and relax.

But honestly, I really am not looking forward to the trip at all. It happens to fall on Friday 1 October and its Children's day. Noel is not at school. He will be lonely with Zachary. For the weekends, without me, I wonder how the 3 guys will be doing. Jeff is leaving to KL on Sunday. Hence we will missed each other for the next 5 days.

If I am given a 2nd chance, I really want to stay and keep them company for the weekends. It is going to be a long tiring week.

Pray that I will be able to survive with Jeff next to me in bed.

Precious Moments

I guess this is the precious moment I will treasure it greatly. A time well spent for the family is all I can hope for.

Zachary is 14 months

Time flies and my baby is 14 months. He is a handful and recently he hurt himself. Falling off the sofa and hit his nose bridge on the table edge. 3 stiches is needed to have that deep hole sealed up. Poor baby. Am glad all is over now. He is getting better and he is at his usual self again.

Sleep for him is never on his mind. He still gets up at nite crying and a half hour nap in the day . When can he learn to sleep at nite? I wonders how long will that wish will be granted for me.

Unhappiness at work place

Work is stressful enough, what we want is to have it done up and nice people around. But this does not happen so.

Currently I am faced with people who are untruthful and wonderfully liars. I cannot imagine where on earth they have such wonderful imaginations.Bad mouth, lies and back stabbing are all they can do. Dogs are even better than humans after this frightening episode. I rather trust a dog than a human now.

Well, one kind of rice feed the millions. (一重米养百重人). All I can say what you sow is what you reap. I only believe in retribution and hope to see it happens.

Unhappiness and Happiness

人都会有自私的一面。 我也不例外。 不过有些人比我还自私。 工作上应该要合作， 人以人之间才会快乐。
我在工作上很不开心。 小人很多而且每个都有心迹。 这样的人只有对他们有所防备。 不过我很安慰的是家里的老公很疼我。常常逗我笑。 谢谢你的爱。你的关怀让我的不开心的一天都忘了。没有你，我的工作精神就没有推动力了。

加油！！！ 我们的日子都要开心的过。

Zachary walked.

My baby Zachary is 13 months old now. Times flies and he started walking. He walked a few steps to me when I am back from work.

He started babbling and yes walked. It seems like yesterday that he was born a cute baby now is 13 months old and how he walked.

Kids are down again

Zachary and Noel are down sick again. Zachary is coughing with phlegm while Noel is having gasric flu. I can't help worrying for them. Thinking of them sick makes me think will that happen when I am not around? Can Jeff really handle them?

Zach is a bad tempered baby and is a handful. After seeing the doctor, I hope they will get well fast.

Excitement & anxiety

My company is organising a trip to Vietnam for our company Dinner and Dance. Initially I did not plan to go. I can't help but feeling worried for home and Jeff if I am not around. Plus it will be my 1st trip to somewhere I am unfamiliar with.

Through Jeff's encouragement, I sign up. Jeff says I should go to take a look at the different world that I always longed to see. He also asked me not to worry for the kids and him and that he will managed well.

Sweet of him to do great lengths for me. Well, I signed up and am now excited and looking forward to the trip.

To love and be love

爱一个人好难, 当爱上的很深而看不到我自己伤害的我是不是很笨? 我很累不过我还是要走下去。因为我爱你爱得我无法看到我自己了。锦俊 我真得好爱你。每一天的幸福就是可一和你在一起。

13 年 和你走过的日子有起有落。 但我们还是熬过了。要求你的爱对我真一点对我深一点这样我就很满足了。

我从来没有不爱你的一天， 就算你多么的让我伤心 难过我的爱一然对你那么的纯真。

Jeff, if you read this, you will know how long it takes me to write out my feelings for you. I will always treasure you and love you.

Celebrating Noel's Birthday

Time flies, Noel is 8 years old now. It really seems like yesterday he was born. Well, my boy is grown up and yes sometimes he is sensible sometimes he is not.

This year due to busy work load, I did not really plan his party. Partly he is bad and misbehaves so the party was called off by Jeff. To make up for him to void his disappoitment, A simple celebration for him to make him feel comforted. Next year, if he behaves, he will eventually have a great celebration for him.




Rice noodles with egg, represent long life for the birthday person. As a mother, I do wish the best for my son too. I hope he will be healthy and long life.




Noel making his wishes.




His birthday cake. (Thanks Lawrence and Adeline)



Zachary wants a piece of the nice cake as well.

Some well spent time

Been so busy with work, hardly anytime with the guys. Recently work is more relaxed for a while, and I decided to spend some time with the 3 guys. It is a time well spent to see the smile on their face.





Seeing the 2 brothers' smile really makes my worries goes away.




My 2 boys that I am always proud of.



My forever loved. My 3 guys.

Friends

It has really come to my thoughts that good friends only come in a few. Past few days, days I am really unhappy. Tears been wetting my pillow at night. While reading this, you must be wondering, what happen? Yes all married couples do quarrel. Jeff and I do too.

It was so bad that it hurts me deeply. When we are angry, our actions and words hurt. Work is making me crazy and tired. We hardly talk and feelings in me is welling up. Why do we have to fight over friends manipulation? Jeff is a very trusting person. Especially with his buch of "friends".

I am greatful to have close truthful and faithful friends that is with me when I am really down and very very upset. A friend that I have just known for months is there for me when I called him to grumble and complained to about work. To think he just reached home from work and has to take my call and listen.

Another friend sacrifce her night of sleep to talk to me on the phone to comfort me when I cry to her.

My domestic worker comfort me at night with her hugs when i break down.

Anna, Ivan and Siti thank you so much for being there for me at my lowest point. I am greatful and happy to know you all. I hope when you are reading this, you will be comfort in return to know that I will treasure your friendship even more.

In Deep Thoughts

Seriously, unhappiness can be depressing. I am in deep thoughts for my next move and actions. To do or not to do. Friends who know me well say, "follow your heart. Jazz you are always the lady who go all the way out for your dreams, and things you want to do. Do it. "

I really thanks those who encourage me. But as this is a big issue, I will take it into deep considerations.

Hope the end results will not cause me a lifetime regrets.

The progress of my 2 boys

Seeing them growing up day by day makes me feel comforted. Noel being the eldest, is sometimes naughty and sometimes nice. It is hard to teach him sometimes as he is kinda stubborn and rebelious.

Still I believe nothing is impossible. I will try my best paitience on him, fingers crossed that I will not blow my top.

As for Zachary, well, he is 1 year old now. A very active baby and yes bad tempered one too. I believe he got that temper from me. (lol) He crawls real fast and cries real loud. Though still learning to walk, it seems like he can run especially when he sees me back from work. He is practically close to me and will want me to carry him. Though tired, I tried my best to hug him, but I would rather focus more on my time with Jeff.

I feel that I have neglected my Jeff as work toll me down and handling 2 boys is a chore to me.

Jeff, if you are reading this, I want to tell you, I love you very much. Sorry if I have not been at your side all the time. Thank you for being there for me when I need you the most and thank you for being so supportive to my work. Thank you for being my best friend and great listener and comforter. I love you.

Some pictures to share.

My baby is all grown up

Time flies, from a infant to a 1 year old active baby. Zach is all grown up. He just celebrated his birthday. I sincerely thank all friends and relatives who are generous with his gifts and red packets.

I am happy to see all enjoying the food that I took great effort to cook. It is always a pleasure to see people enjoying food that I made.

I thank Jeff for his support and help during his Prince's birthday. Zach didn't know what is going on, but he is sure happy to see new toys.

The rain spoilt our 2nd half of the BBQ, still everyone leaves happily. Some picts to share.

My phone lost

I am very sad. It is just not my day. I have lost the most sentimental value phone that Jeff gave me. I am now very upset. Likewise, Jeff is disappointed. I am searching very fractically for it. Pray someone kind enough picked it up and return to me.

Counting down to Zachary 1st birthday

Time really passes, my 2nd prince Zachary is turning 1 in a few days time. Looking forward to see him happily enjoy his day. Jeff and I will be getting ready all the nice food and the party ready. Hope to share more picts soon

Bad work mates Vs Good work mates

I am very unhappy with some work mates whom I think are petty and damn ungracious. It is all these people that makes a working environment unhappy. Ungracious causes people to act childish, bad attitude and unkind.

Right now I am deciding to change a better work envoirnment whom I can don't get to work with locals. Working with expats are much more fun and better. Well, I hope my bank home loan will be able to approve before I move on to something better.

I am happy that I have a small group of work mates that are so helpful that they sacrifice their after office hours time to come back to help me. Seriously these are the few that makes up my day and makes me fell comforted.

I thank Grace, Elaine, Rozi and Rene for their kindness, understanding, and helpfulness during my past few months. Gals, if you read this blog, sincerely I thank you all.

2 more days

2 more day will be my 32 birthday. Yes, I have live 32 years on Earth. Sometimes, I ask myself, what have I done in my 32 years of my life. I have acomplished being a wife, a mother to 2 kids and a filial daughter to my parents.

My life live plainly and contented. Yes at times, I am not so saint. I am bad sometimes, my birthday wish is not for myself. But for all in the world to be happy and contented.

My boys when you read what I have written the next time, remember my wish to you all. Be happy and be contented. Love one another.

Working relationship.

I am a person who speaks my mind. I never have to think what i need to speak. It just all comes straight from my heart. Well, my character often offended people, of course sometimes it brings me friends. Friends who appreciate my straight forwardness.

But it came to my understanding that not all accept the way I am. Hey!! This is human nature. We talk or act unknowingly sometimes.


Recently, I have been so busy and so vexed that I am in my own cabin and never bother people around me.

I have been telling myself to cool off and be nice. But it didnt. So I guess I have to work well in buling a working relationship.

Finally I am settled down.

Yes!! It has all be done and decisions are made. I am fully settled down in my company finally. I am now part of the big family in the company. I hope my decisions will bring me the path to my next level.

I am upset though, my new found friend who is also my boss is leaving the company soon. He is my great mentor who never looks down on me and been coaching me all the things I need to learn. In return I gave my all to learn and not disappoint him. Although somethimes, mistakes are made.

Still, I enjoy working with him. I guess we share the same interest. Animals and some other daily topics that made me hit it right off with him.

I can say he is so far the youngest and nicest boss I have work with.

Well, work load seems a little overloaded, staying late as usual. Guess I am all used to it now.

So I hope to work with the next new boss well and hope he will be a likable person.

Feeling greatful and comforted

I am feeling greatful for God has bless greatly upon me & family. Despite the ocurring episodes of everyone getting sick, He has bless my boy Noel with a gift which Jeff and I had discovered.

Noel can do mental calculations faster than anyone. But we need to train him well as he is conceited in himself so much that he did not even do his workings correctly in his school exams.

Although he score average for his mid term, I am comforted to know he done his best. But there is one thing I am greatly disappointed in Noel is his constant misbehavior.

I hope he wil change for the better. Pls pray for him that we put him into the Lord's hand and entrust Noel to HIM. Thanks everyone for reading this

All's well end well.

Finally, I manage to get a big break after all the episodes in the household. I cannot imagine the whole month of May, everyone in the family is sick.

I am the 1st one who gets sick. Bad flu and cough. Next Noel's turn and 3rd is Zachary's.

Zachary has a high fever and bad cough. I cannot imagine for the 2 weeks he did not sleep well at all. Jeff and I have been sleepless nites taking turn to take care of him. He crys every single nite and gosh!!! It is like crazy month of May for me.

Next one to fall sick is our maid, Siti. She started coughing and for 2-3 weeks she been coughing badly until recently she got well. Last one to fall sick is Jeff. He is still coughing hard now and had bad nights sleeping as well.

I guess our family doctor is happy as he got a fat salary pay from me for the month of May. (LOL)

All's well ends well, except for Jeff who is still coughing hard. Some picts I am putting up really sores my heart to see my children and husband to fall sick.

Tiredness and decisions

I have some important decisions to make which really takes up alot of my time. Baby Zach is wearing me out too as he is not really wanting to sleep at night. Jeff and I has been so tired out lately.

Decisions to make and a baby who doesnt want to sleep well.

I hope I can have a chance to rest well before any conclusions made.

A very active baby who does not sleep at night

Zachary is a very active baby. Past few nights, he has been waking up from 3.30am and last till morning. I am so tired. Jeff's temper is running short because of this. Sigh!!! Notty baby. Making his parents and big brother surrendering to him.

Big brother Noel's sleep has been disturb as well. Poor Noel been sleeping less and starts to dislike his little brother. But through constant persuation, he is tolerant. Well, to appease both brothers, weekends treat to Mac Donalds breakfast seems to work.

I am glad to see a smile on their face. To me, it's another mission accomplished.

Some Time together

Hardly we have time together. Last Friday, I had a wonderful night with Jeff. It has been ages since we last pubbing. I treasure it very much and really am happy with the time spent. Hope a pict shows all of my feelings.

Pain is unbearable

I really dont know. Pain is unbearable. Prescription given and it doesnt help much to reduce the pain. I cant relate much to Jeff my pain. Inner thoughts which I long to tell him. I really dont know what to do. How to start a conversation, how to share with him his inner thoughts and my inner thoughts.

I maybe on the negative thoughts and I really cant think positive now. It is really distressing to bear with the pain and medications.

Prayers from friends has been keep on coming. Thanks friends for the care and prayers. Love you lots.

2 weeks and counting

It has been 2 weeks now in my new job. I am settling down well. Yes I need alots of guidance and been running up and down whenever mistakes are made.

Well I do need a few more weeks to get it fully hands on. I quite like my 2 bosses. Both are friendly and kind.

Both are giving me their best advise and guidance. Teaching me in anyway I need to know.

I appreciate and thank God to have given me 2 great bosses. I hope to work long in this new company and give my best performance.

Wish me luck.

1st day at work

Today is a special day for me. It is my 1st day at work. It is a new experience for me. Throughout my years of work life, this is a new exposure for me in a Legal Firm. I am very lucky as it is always what I wanted to learn from.

Though it seems scary and my confidence level are low, I believe that I can overcome all difficulties and manage it well.

I hope it will be a new horizon for me to explore and hope to learn something new everyday.

I strongly believe God is always with me and guides me in everything I do. Will update more on my new job.

A Picture says a thousand words

My motivatiion, my life, my love, my energy, my will, my key, my gifts from God.

New job and new beginning

I am very happy. After 2 months of rest and out of job for 2 months, God has bless me with a good job. It came quite suddenly after the Chinese New Year holidays. I can see that things are turning good for me.

A great new job and a new beginning for the new year. New plans are in the midst of planning.

Holidays planning for Noel coming school holidays. Birthday Bash for Zachary 1st birthday and birthday bash for Noel and Jeff's birthday. One by one all is lining up.

Time flies real fast and Zachary is 8 months old now. 4 more months to go before he turns 1.

Seeing him grow and learning new things everyday makes me comforted and happy. Knowing God is looking after all our needs and blessing the 2 kids greatly.

Jeff is working hard too. I believe he has new plans for the year 2010. Plans for the family. I hope I will still be able to fork out time for my family even after I started on my new job.

I pray that God will be able to give me more time to spend on the guys so that I can still bake and cook for them.

Will update more on my new job soon.

Retribution

People been asking me about this and wants me to point out my opinions. Well all I can say is yes I believe in retribution.

Recently I came to know a lady whom I do not really like. She likes to bad mouth about others life and gossips about others personal stuffs. She also likes to post bad comments on others. Well, I can say I was used to be a topic of one of her gossips and bad mouth.

Retribution came for her. I need not say more as I believe that God has given me justice done. This lady has her retribution on her new born baby. When friends came to tell me about her new born, I feel justified.

This is what I called karma or retribution. Parents do wrong and their kids takes the blame and punishment.

That is why I always try my best to teach my boys the best manners, and behavior. Teach them the right things and follow God's ways listed in the bible.

Jeff and I always try to do our best in good deeds that we can do. Help whoever that needs help.

I may not be a perfect wonderful rich lady, but I do what I can within my means.

I feel very blessed that God has given me a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful kids. What else can I ask for? They are priceless and all the money in this world can't buy them.

I have give thanks and praise too Lord for his wonderful blessings. I hope all my friends reading my blog will feel the same way too. Be thankful and do any good deeds you can think of. Look and see the surroundings. You are bless in one way or the other.

13th Wedding Anniversary

It seems like yesterday that we just know each other and set out life path together. Wednesday 27th January is our 13th year wedding anniversary. Time flies and we have 2 beautiful kids and has walked 13 years of ups and down together.

How many more years we can go? It all comes from God's blessing. I do hope we can spend year after year anniversary together.

I have plan some surprises for him. Hope he will like it. Will share the surprise gift picts to all.

Keeping Zach busy and happy

Zachary is a very active baby. He tires me out easily. We have to think of new ways to keep him occupied and happy. So when I am not around, Jeff has thought of putting him in a laundry basket. He loves it very much. Just to share....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIBJGxXgR6g

A time well spent

Jeff was sweet. He brought us to Singapore Bird Park to see the Hollywood dinosaur theme. It was a time well spent. Noel enjoyed it most and Zachary sleep throughout the expedition.

I am very happy and it was a memorable time for me.